She's In Denial.

30 November 2005

No, today is not monday. hah

But if everything goes right and okay, i'll be back at work on Monday!

Ya la, so do remember to check me out on Monday at my work place. LOL.

Im sick of staying at home, taking real good care of the scars and shit. BOO. Eat and sleep have become my daily routine. argh. You can actually see me being fat and round!

Ohmigod.

But nvm, it's alright. I have my own way of getting back into shape. My first priority is to get rid of the ugly and disgusting scars. Hate em la.

ass.

Ok. I've no idea why im writing this. But still, i must write it down.

Im not refering to anyone in particular, nobody.

So, read on.

YA. I really don't understand what the writer is trying to portray. I came across this blog, and apparently, the writer is a smoker; be it part-time or hard core. Nothing special about the blog, just everyday life with what-what-what-have-been-done and sort. But there's this particular action which the writer decide to use asterisks to replace some of the letters, trying 'very hard' to make it an obscure word. I can say, every single English-educated human being will understand what that word is with a single glance, despite its obscurity. The word is 'smoking'. So, what is the writer trying to convey? A coward who don't dare to admit that he/she smokes? Or to the writer, smoking is something saint and only some particular counterparts can 'use' it? Maybe, a combination of both where the writer is a coward that doesn't want others to know that he/she does smoke but to him/her, smoking is something not anyone can do and wanted to show others that he/she actually do so by using the asterisks to hide the letters. So, a heroic act? NO. a shake head no-no.

It's not that i despise smokers. I do accept them; even though im against smoking. But why make it so 'special'? It is not the action of smoking but the message the writer of the blog is trying to convey to others.

" Smoke then smoke la. So what? Make it so special like that. Wu liao. "

That's what many others will say. Reason? Smoking is not a big deal now. Nobody will kick up a big fuss, especially teenagers, when they realise that their peers are smoking. Maybe in your grandmum-granddad-old-ancient days but definitely not NOW.

"Wanna a cigg?" That is a common question asked by teenagers now; maybe as a form of greeting as well. So, what's so special then?

Smoking; you're just degrading yourself. From top grade A to grade F. If u are not grade A in the first place, think hard. You're worse than grade F now. And, you are shortening your life span. Have a thought for those around you. You wanna die first before them ah!? Imagine those tar forming around your livers, throat and bla bla. HOW DISGUSTING? It's also a great turn-off. Personally, I see guys who smoke are childish. Absolutely. Except for those ah peks and old uncle; they're just huffing and puffing their life away since they have nothing better to do.

What that writer did in his/her blog does not affect me. I wrote soooooo freaking long about it because I have nothing to do, literally nothing to do la. All thanks to my chicken pox. But i do mean what i have written here. Don't get me wrong. Im not mad, not angry, not nothing. Im just expressing my views and feelings about it. Im not against that writer, just puzzled with the way he/she writes. Currently, my mood is neutral. Very very neutral. So if you, anybody, find anything here offending, just.. forget it. I don't mean to offend anyone.

But still, I sincerely hope that everyone will stay away from smoking. For the sake of your health, and those around you.

Left`alone
11/30/2005 01:01:00 PM™

29 November 2005

Finally, Im recovering.

It's like; HOORRRAYYY.

The itch is unbearable; extremely unbearable. Hell. And i cannot scratch! Freaking idiotic. My face looks like a hideous creature now and if i still scratch, im dead. DEAD. Fuck it. So, no choice but to scratch everything around me: Sofa, pillow, book, blanket, soft toy, etc. Funny. Others will start thinking that i am a lunatic or moroon upon seeing my scratching style.

fuckfuckfuckfuck

My christmas wish list is up! ahhhhhhHhHHHHH!

Aye, bet i'll be getting them for myself instead of receiving them as gifts though. HAHA.

They're just too freaking costly.

But still, it's okay.

Im working! haha

Left`alone
11/29/2005 08:50:00 AM™

26 November 2005

Reasons for why I din't update.

1] Very SICK. ( as in really sick )

2] No time. ( work work work )

3] fucking chicken pox.

WELL, yesterday's my first day at work. I enjoyed it but this morning, I had a fever and developed rashes all over. The doc says it's chicken pox and i got 5 days mc starting from today. Fuck la. hah. Still gotta go back for checkup and all.

And i look like monster now.

Left`alone
11/26/2005 10:48:00 AM™

24 November 2005

Look at the time.

It's freaking 6:29AM!

And by the way, Im very, very, very awake since 3+ am.

Im just. SICK.

I thought i'll be fine, but [idiotfuckingpissedbloodyhell] I woke up with sore eye. AH! It's sore plus puffy, making me look like a monster or creature; whichever is the worst to you. And i have an interview later on, for goodness sake, and a bbq to attend, for freaking hell sake. Why!?

=.=''

Someone, wish me luck. For my eye!

Left`alone
11/24/2005 06:29:00 AM™

23 November 2005

SHIT. My feet, blisters!

Can u imagine how pain it is.

And i think im sick. 38degree celcius considered feverish?? ahhh.

I just don't have the mood to blog. FAGGED OUT TOTALLY.

Guess im sick.

Left`alone
11/23/2005 11:26:00 PM™

22 November 2005

So, Im back. FREAKING BACK.

Went to Guan Im temple with my parents in the morning and I saw rui on the mrt platform. Interesting. Instead of chatting face-to-face, we msged each other. Yaya. I put down my phone, his phone rings. He put down his, mine rings.

Somehow, I have the interest in crystals and gems. There's this photo-taking service that can read your aura or something like that at this crystals n gems store, looks kind of interesting and i went to give it a try. OH MY. It's so damn accurate la. Peep, should try. Bought a bracelet too. The lady says that it will control my energy level. haha. Cause the result of that photo-tingy shows that im too energetic - energy lvl too high. And, either stressful or gonna fall sick.. argh. Guess it's the latter.

DYED MY HAIR. finally. With mich n yanisa.

Met henry after that and had dinner at mac.

Then we walked all the way to east coast park. =)

I wished to go there ever since the fatty olvl starts.

The memories i had there flashed back into my mind. The goods and the bads. All at a go and ya, they're all back. It's not that im not over them, but the fact that i had gone through so much. The thought of it refreshes me, and reminds me to cherish all that i have now instead of holding on to the past. Ah. I LOVE going there when things aren't going well or when im lost.

well, a big thankyou to him, for accompanying me there.

But this time, something's different.

Im still kind of lost.

how?

Left`alone
11/22/2005 11:44:00 PM™

21 November 2005

Im BACK.

Shall update more.

lol.

Guess what i buy.

- 3 pair of shoes

- 1 top

- 1 bag

- 1 bracelet

- many chocs / choc biscuits / biscuits

Hahaaaa. I can't imagine. 3 pair of shoes.

AND.

I feel richer. somehow.

Left`alone
11/21/2005 10:57:00 PM™

18 November 2005

GOODBYE

BIG

FAT

OOOOOOOOOO!!

Left`alone
11/18/2005 09:12:00 PM™

17 November 2005

WAH. I find this extremely true.

Read on - you'll know me better.

Aquarius
Turn ons
Aquarius are friendly and fascinating people. They have in-depth knowledge about various subjects and you can converse with them for hours without getting bored. They are capable of giving a lot of love that can be amazing. They have very broad outlook about life and you can relax in their presence. They will always welcome your ideas and actions about humanitarian causes. To keep an Aquarians lover interested you must possess that mysterious and intriguing quality. Once hooked they will always be very faithful to you.
Turn offs
Do not expect or plan a normal, simple and predictable life with an Aquarius partner. Aquarius people are totally unpredictable. They can go to any direction without giving any advance notice. They are basically very restless and get very easily bored. Though they are very friendly but do not expect them to reveal their inner most feelings to you (they will never). They can be very detached and impersonal that you may find very strange. Do not be surprised by this unpredictable quality that may crop up often.

So understand now? =D

Left`alone
11/17/2005 06:25:00 PM™

16 November 2005

GOSH. I actually survived through the 2 toughest subjects - Geog & physics!

haha.

Physics was like damn easy [?] compared to prelims.

BUT.

I gave stupid answers for 1 of the questions.

Uses of Ultraviolet radiation?

1) Destroy negatives of photos to prevent them from being reproduced.

2) Healthy skin.

Im so freaking proud of my answers! haha.

Left`alone
11/16/2005 06:26:00 PM™

14 November 2005

To study is tough. To study hard is worse than anything else.

Let me show u.

The living dead me, with all the tortures and sufferings, and lastly, the stress-reducing activity and its outcome.

Let's start with this lifeless bag.

Now. The MESS.

The work. The forever-unable-to-get-into-my-mind stuff.

And somehow, I GAVE UP.

So, i turned to my fav MAYDAY. To feel contented with what i have currently. And after looking around, feeling bored and restless, I found my old Converse and decided to do something interesting. YA. SEE!

Somehow, I managed to find beads, handicraft stuff, fabric paint, and glitters. See. Look. LOOK. Creative? haha.

And none of the design is similar. As in, the design of both the left and right are totally different. Im just too lazy to do the same thing again. So.. ya right. Special.

And here. My brand new Converse. One and only.

Im feeling so proud of my 'work' right now. haha.

Left`alone
11/14/2005 06:27:00 PM™

12 November 2005

HEY GUYS! IM LOOKING FORWARD TO THE DAYS AFTER O LVL RIGHT NOW!

18th NOV - END OF PAPER.

19th NOV - Say bye to me. Genting for 3days?

21th NOV - Say Hi to me this time.

22th NOV - Hair + Job Looking day!

23th NOV - CO! bbq~ wheee.

There's more coming. haha.

Left`alone
11/12/2005 06:04:00 PM™

11 November 2005

E Maths??

HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

Left`alone
11/11/2005 06:36:00 PM™

10 November 2005

Hmm. hahaha.

Ok. So here's my dream courses.

TP - Visual Communication

SP - Music & Audio Technology

SP - Creative Media Design

And of course, the Business courses if i can't get into any of the above.

Tell me your dream ppl. lol.

Left`alone
11/10/2005 09:52:00 AM™

09 November 2005

If you despise me, leave me alone.

You don't have to treat me so nice all these while but remind me how bad i am at the same time.

I know. I know all these. I know what a bad girl i am.

But i don't need your constant reminder.

Left`alone
11/09/2005 02:45:00 PM™

08 November 2005

I SWEAR.

I will never ever forgive him. Yes, that bastard!

Fucking creature by the name of Daryl Lee.

U know what?! He's a jerk!

Can you imagine a guy who refused to pay a megre sum of money - 15bucks, YES, tiny weeny 15bucks - with a stupid reason ' you owe me more'. FUCK THAT PUSSY!! What he owe me cannot be compensated, even by billions or zillions. And, I just want my 15bucks back! Im not stingy, but poor - utterly, extremely, very, freaky money-less. All my friends know that. argh. Tell me how am i going to survive the whole holiday with a small $2 note? [and to someone, i din't touch your origami.] Maybe i can work. YA. Im going to get a job. BUT that's after my olvl, which is about 2wks later, and you don't get your paid on your first day of work right? 15bucks may mean nothing to you but it means a [fucking] lot to me.

Let me enlighten you.

15 bucks.

- 30 MacDonalds Ice-cream cones

- 150 BeeBee snacks

- 6 plates of chicken rice which cost $2.50 each

- 75 packets of Marmee [spell?] snacks

- 3 sets of MacDonalds breakfast

- 6 packets of fishball noodles

- 10 packets of Nasi Lemak

- 10 waffles from bakery

- 25 cups of Teh-si

and so on....

Can you see? All these can freaking fill me up for at least 1 week. And, I didn't lend it to him. He snatched it from me, obviously before the break up. Duh.

He's a shame. Who the hell will snatch his gf's money and refuses to return?? Well, this reminds me of his best friend by the name of YX, his species. Whatever.

Actually, I can scrape a little here and there BUT why must when it's all because of that fucking bastard Daryl Lee?! And he claim that I OWE HIM MORE? WTF.

IF, he's someone you know or considered 'friend' [puke], smack him in his ass and wake him up. Or better still, whack him until he regain his senses.

I rather throw the money into the drain than to let him spend. So, even if Im currently not poor [which sadly isn't the case], I WILL want it back. That little-pussy-big-time-bastard doesn't deserve a single cent from anyone.

For those who have his number, kindly tell him ' he SUCKS '.

And maybe the same to his bastardy species.

knnccb. FUCK LA.

Left`alone
11/08/2005 02:08:00 PM™

07 November 2005

HAHAHA.

Exciting day.

I screwed everything up.

1) I forgot to bring my jacket, and end up being freezed for 3hrs 30mins.

2) Careless mistakes for Emaths p1, too many to be counted.

I can happily see my A1 flying away and waving goodbye!

3) I did not complete my SS paper. AGAIN.

Freak. Normally i do my SBQs first and do not have enough time for me to complete my essays. Now, it's the other way round. How funny.

But, I think Im lucky. =D

I studied for 2 of the questions that came out for Essay writing. hahaaa.

But, part B was rubbish. I just vomitted everything i knew out.

lalalalala.

Am i going to screw my English too? whaha. better NOT.

Went lunch with mich, yani, ben, shang, solo and kaiyeong. This bunch of people cannot settle down to study. MAYBE they can, for just 1sec only?

haha. But it was fun.

Left`alone
11/07/2005 04:37:00 PM™

04 November 2005

I thought i saw that bastard. I think i saw IT.

Im waiting for the lights to turn green, and that bastardy bus choose to turn in, neither a second later nor sooner, but that fucking second when im there.

FUCK THAT BUS, FUCK THAT INTERCHANGE, FUCK THAT TRAFFIC LIGHTS.

I THOUGHT i saw something. Not certain in the first place.

BUT IT STARED AT ME. THAT FUCKING BASTARDY ASSHOLE STARED AT ME WITH ITS ULTRA SK-II-ed FACE.

I cursed him.

May IT drop dead the moment IT alight from the bus.

May the bus EXPLODE before IT alight.

(and sorry for those innocent commuters. They're suay.)

May all the Ru Huas fuck IT upside down, and ultimately till death.

May some lunatics bash and body slam IT until its brain juices spirt out like water fountain.

May a bomb land on IT.

May IT live in LIVING HELL.

Ball-less freak.

I ain't a good girl.

I've changed, drastically.

So, don't love me, don't fancy me, don't expect anything from me.

Reason? I hate to be myself. But i enjoy being myself, me and myself only.

I will be a good friend, of everybody. I have to.

But exclude those bastards.

Forgive and forget? No. Im not that magnanimous.

Told u, I ain't a good girl.

And I love to be free.

I want to be free.

Left`alone
11/04/2005 05:00:00 PM™

02 November 2005

Can u believe it!!?

I STUDIED FROM 10AM TILL 4PM.

Fun. Especially with a Mayday lover like me. haha. We'ld chat about how cute Ashin is once in a while, and bitch about 5566. lol. ok la. Enjoyable. AND! I learnt more about physics. She got a2 for Physics kk. How can i not learn from her? =x

I just love being with her. lol. Do i sound les? =.=''

Nothing much to blog.

Pss. Im squeezing my brain for ideas to continue the story.

Just give me some time.

hahaha.

Ya la. BACK TO STUDY.

Left`alone
11/02/2005 04:37:00 PM™

01 November 2005

他是個普通的少年，一個暗戀鄰家女孩的男孩。
從未交往過的他，對愛情有著一份執著。
他對天發過誓，若有心儀的對象一定要給對方最好的。
對他而言，完美無瑕的愛情是幸福的象徵。

鄰家女孩對他的印象也只不過是個鄰家男孩罷了。
他在她的心中是個大哥哥，一個非常愛護她的大哥哥。
從小到大，她對他只存有一種尊敬，而非所謂的愛情。
他雖然心裏有數，卻不肯放棄，因爲他堅決的相信自己還是有希望的，只要他肯堅持下去。。。

那天，他和往常一樣的轉進巷子，期待著與她碰面，但他萬萬也沒想到出現在自己眼前是他所無法接受的一幕。
她和一個不知名的他肩並肩的走著。
“這很普通嗎。”

他試著安撫那忐忑不安的心情。
但儅他把視線稍微往下移時，看見的是他的右手牽著她的左手，十指還是緊扣著的。
他的心頓時跌到了谷底，碎了。

他強忍著淚滴，擺出了堅強的一面，以箭快的腳步走過他們到自己的家門口。
翻了翻背包拿出鑰匙后，他就進了屋内。

自從那一天起，他和她見面時，少了一份熟悉，反而多了一种陌生。
往往只是點著頭，表示對彼此的問候。

那年夏天，他一家搬離台北，到遙遠的美國去。
雖然心裏呐喊著千千萬萬個不捨得，但該放下的始終還是得放下。
離開的那一刻，他望著她的窗，希望能見到她，畢竟錯過了這個機會就不知何時才能再見面了。
但她的窗是緊閉著的。
沒辦法。他只好默默的在心中與她說聲“再見”。

十年后。。。

他轉進了那充滿回憶的巷子，對著路過的每只小貓、小狗和小鳥說他回來了。
走著走著，出現在他面前的是她的家門。
“這种感覺好特別啊。”
他提起勇氣，按了按門鈴。。。

[To be continued]

Left`alone
11/01/2005 08:17:00 PM™

Changed the song.

Wu Yue Tian - Wen Rou : an all time favourite.

Does it sounds familiar? YES.

Better let the answer be yes. haha.

How wonderful; Im refering to Mayday, their songs, their music and their band.

I love them all.

Listen closely to all their songs and you will realise the stories behind them. They're not those repeated, old hat ones that revolve around being ditched or how badly the girl/boy wants the other party back. Just listen and if possible, imagine. This definitely enriches your creativity. Their ability to write songs about almost everything under the sun mesmerises me, that explains. The charisma. wow. Even down-till-pit mood regains to the top-of-the-mountain-peak after running through the songs in just one single album. Trust me. Experience it yourself and you will have a bright positive attitude towards everything in life.

And, a plus point, ASHIN IS CUTE! haaaahaaaaaa *opps* He is an unique vocalist. I swear, nobody can sing like the way he does.

Ok. What i mean is that, Mayday is awesome.

I'm not that crazy though. You will never ever spot me screaming my head off to show my support for them in their concerts etc. What i do is just getting an original copy of their album and enjoy it in my small comfy room.

pss. i mentioned original.

It's great music and worth supporting.

I'm not after their persons, i'm after their music.

LOL.

Their affections for music are impressive. I'm always inspired and end up getting motivated by that.

Yeah. It's a nothing-much entry.

But soooo what? I just love Mayday.

^^*

Left`alone
11/01/2005 12:19:00 AM™

温柔

五月天

走在风中今天阳光突然好温柔
天的温柔地的温柔像你抱著我
然后发现你的改变孤单的今后
如果冷该怎么渡过

天边风光身边的我都不在你眼中
你的眼中藏著什么我从来都不懂
没有关系你的世界就让你拥有
不打扰是我的温柔

不知道不明了不想要为什么我的心
明明是想靠近却孤单到黎明

不知道不明了不想要为什么我的心
那爱情的绮丽总是在孤单里
再把我的最好的爱给你

不知不觉不情不愿又到巷子口
我没有哭也没有笑因为这是梦
没有预兆没有理由你真的有说过
如果有就让你自由
自由这是我的温柔

Left`alone
11/01/2005 12:17:00 AM™